No Threads All Dead
by IdlingHybrid
Summary: bad at titles as you can see... it's about Kazuya losing his favourite suit and he must find it, meets up with people along the way, lot's of randomness and stuff
1. Chapter 1

disclaimer: don't own nothing except ear wax and ideas oh and a shirt that says i'm with stupid

Prologue…

My brain is really loud today thought Kazuya, as he waited for his purple suit to come back from the dry-cleaners. Jin walked in juggling three eggs; he was making weird whooping sounds every time an egg almost got away from him. Lee walked in afterwards laughing hysterically at the struggling to juggle Jin.

Kazuya growled and snapped from his seat beside the phone "do you idiots mind?"

Jin dropped his arms and the eggs fell loudly to the floor, Lee stopped laughing and lit up a cigarette

"Pop, why are you in your underwear?" asked a frightened Jin

"F.Y.I I'm waiting for my suit to come back" Kazuya replied indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But, you have like a trillion other suits why don't you wear them?" asked Jin.

"Oh I don't know" Kazuya glared angrily at Lee, who stopped smoothing out his jacket and laughed nervously.

"Uh…" he began, but he was cut off by the phone.

"Yay!" Kazuya cried as he picked up the handset.

"Hello" he said then after a pause "yes, I know it's the dry cleaners…." Another pause then

"What! What do you mean my suit was stolen?" Kazuya growled and slammed the phone down angrily.

Tears welled in his eyes and he collapsed back into his seat "They lost my suit!"

Jin scoffed silently and Lee ran from the room, trying to contain his laughter.

Kazuya stood from his chair after half an hour of crying and sobbing and found Jin

Kazuya shook his son from his nap in the flower bed and said in a defiant and heroic voice "Son, you and I will go on a quest to find my suit!"

"Wha… why not by a new one?" Jin asked rousing from his sleeping state.

"Do you know how much they cost huh? What do you think; I'm made out of money? Huh…is that it? Is it?" he growled angrily poking his son in the chest.

"Well, yeah…actually" Jin replied sitting up and wiping dirt from his back.

_Damn, I was sure he wouldn't find me in here… now I need a new place for my afternoon naps _Jin thought bitterly. _Or…I could kill him…_

Kazuya hauled Jin to his feet and dragged him to Porsche parked in the front. They found it covered in toilet paper and Lee sitting in the passenger seat smoking happily.

Kazuya growled angrily and flung open the door and screamed "what are you doing! Smoking in MY CAR!"

Lee squealed like a pig and scrambled away "uh…. What are you doing here?"

Kazuya got distracted from his anger by his worry for his suit and said in his hero voice "My son and I are going to get my suit back! It is a dangerous mission, one the likes of you could never comprehend!"

"That didn't even make sense… I'm coming with" Lee snapped.

"Shotgun!" shouted Jin.

"Ah… the navigator takes shot gun seat" Lee replied matter-of-factly.

"Damn! Then what am i?" asked Jin in a disgruntled tone

Kazuya slipped into the drivers seat and said "you're the one whose ass is gonna be kicked if you don't hurry up!"

Jin yelped and jumped into the back, they drove away in silence, Lee thinking of nothing but wanting a cigarette, Kazuya thinking only of his dear purple suit and Jin thinking about his importance and position in the mission.

review or don't review, it doesn't make a dierence


	2. Chapter 2

After turning down 18 wrong streets two of them one way streets, Kazuya pulled up in front of the dry cleaners in his toilet paper tepee Porsche. People looked at the trio weirdly as they slipped (or in Jin's case fell) out of the car. Mostly they gawked at Kazuya who was still in his underwear. Jin picked himself from the ground in triumph and announced "I know now my position in this mission…"

Kazuya then announced "wow, you're a poet prodigy!"

Lee rolled his eyes and lit up another cigarette, "what is your role then Jinny"

Jin narrowed his eyes and growled "never call me that again!"

Kazuya spoke in a wounded voice "I thought you liked being called Jinny"

"No I said I _didn't_ like to be called Jinny" Jin replied curtly.

Kazuya thought for a moment then said more to himself than anyone "well I guess I should cancel those personalized T-shirts for Jin then"

Lee rolled his eyes again and puffed on his fag and asked "so what was it that you were saying?" to Jin.

Jin stared blankly for a minute then continued with his announcement "I was saying Lee my friend, that my role in this mission is… security" he finished.

Kazuya and Lee stared blankly; Lee's fag (too lazy to keep writing cigarette) fell from his mouth.

"Security?" asked Lee dumb-founded.

"yes, my role is to keep this under wraps…make sure there is no plot to take us all down, and if there is I will prevent it with my security team of security!" Jin said all in one breathe.

Kazuya regained his composure and clapped his son on the back and exclaimed "good idea son… I think you should take this walkie talkie and check out inside before we go in" Kazuya pulled out a walkie talkie and gave it to an excited Jin.

Jin ran inside and they saw him through the window searching around and interrogating the poor old man behind the counter. Jin stopped his silent inspection and turned to the window, raised the walkie talkie and began speaking into it

Outside Kazuya and Lee heard the walkie talkie crackling then Jin's voice … "okay Nude Man and Silver Ciggie…the premises is clear, no bombs, assassins or traps. The old man is on our side… the perimeter is clean…over"

Kazuya pressed the button and asked "we've got code names? Over"

They saw Jin roll his eyes and talk into the walkie talkie again

It came through "yes… we can't use our real names, the line might be tapped, just call me Drunk One…over"

Lee scoffed and whispered to Kazuya "we need to find that boy some friends"

Jin's voice came through the talkie again "what was that? You weren't holding the button down… are you coming in or what….over?"

Kazuya nodded and said "we're moving in do you copy?"

Jin gave them the thumbs up sign and Kazuya strut inside, Lee groaned and followed him in.

Inside the shop the old man behind the counter was cowering in fear. Jin fell in to step with his underwear clad father "Nude Man, the old man says that your suit was here this morning but someone must have stolen it"

"Thank you for the report Drunk One, now I want you to inspect the pick up room for my suit,"

Jin saluted and scrambled over the counter and checked all the little hangey things for a purple suit.

"Silver Ciggie… keep watch at the door." Kazuya called to Lee.

"Go to hell" Lee called as he sat in a chair beside the door.

Kazuya approached the counter where the old man was watching Jin tearing through the clothes.

"Any luck Drunk One?" Kazuya asked

Jin looked at him sadly and sighed "Negative Nude Man, no luck here"

Kazuya sighed and leant on the counter and looked at the old man. "Old man, I want to know the last time you saw my suit?"

The old man was trembling and answered in a cracked voice "the last time I saw it was this morning, I was pressing it, I left to answer the phone and when I returned it was gone"

"Damn, I'll never get it back" Kazuya whined and slammed his fists on the counter.

"Wait Nude Man…" Jin shouted, he turned from the clothes and grasped the old mans collar and spat into his face "old man, who was it on the phone?"

"Why?" asked the trembling old man.

"It might have been a decoy or something, so they could have stolen the suit when you were talking…so who was it?"

The old man shivered and said "no-one was there, I answered and all I heard was breathing.

"My god! That's who we're looking for!" Jin shouted in triumph.

Kazuya jumped up and down in excitement. Lee scowled from his post and spoke "how will we find out who done it if we don't even know who it was on the phone"

Kazuya growled again and after a moments thought he walked over to the phone and examined it. He pressed a button.

"What did you press?" asked Jin who was looking over his fathers shoulder.

"Caller return" Kazuya said winking and giving thumbs up. Lee rolled his eyes again and turned away from them.

Kazuya waited patiently and the phone was picked up "hello?" asked a British voice.

"You! You are part of the plot to ruin me! Where are you! Where are you?" Kazuya screamed.

He heard the dial tone.

"Hello? Hello?" he asked. Jin pulled out a small machine and hooked it up to the phone somehow

"No matter Nude Man, we'll use our phone tapping machine to find a location."

Kazuya dialled again as Jin listened closely to the machine. Lee was smoking in the background.

"Hello?" the voice again.

"Yes… ah… this is Miggly Ha Luber from the…." Kazuya looked around trying to think of something. "From the World Vision Thing, give me money" he demanded.

Dial tone again. Jin shouted "we've got a trace! 2345 Corman Street… I don't know where that is but oh well!"

"Good work soldiers, let's hit the road" Kazuya said beckoning for Lee and Jin to follow him.


	3. Chapter 3

don't own never will...

enjoy if you dare...

Kazuya was lost and Lee kept telling them the wrong directions

"I said turn right!" Lee growled looking up from the map he was holding.

"No you said turn left" Kazuya snapped gripping the steering wheel tightly.

"Let's stop and asked for directions?" Jin questioned.

"What are you… a woman?" Lee asked

Jin fell back into his seat and muttered "no…but you are"

Lee turned in his seat and growled "what did you say?"

"Nothing" Jin groaned "hey Ling Xiaoyu and panda…and Kuma?" Jin pointed up ahead.

"Kuma? What is he doing with them?" Kazuya asked looking at the weird group up ahead.

"Pull over pull over!" exclaimed Jin.

Lee groaned as Kazuya pulled up on the curb.

Ling spotted Jin in the back and squealed. Kuma saw Kazuya and tried to hide behind Panda.

"Hi Jin!" Ling squeaked with stars in her eyes.

"Shhh… don't say my name" Jin hissed.

"What?" Ling asked confused. Panda was growling at Kuma playfully.

"We're looking for Nude man's Suit... we've got a trace" Jin explained.

Kazuya screamed at Ling "TELL US WHERE 2345 CORMAN STREET OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!"

Jin sighed in embarrassment as Panda Roared at Kazuya and Kuma roared at Panda and Lee roared at Kazuya and Kazuya roared at Ling.

"Okay… Ling must come; she knows and could leak out to the enemy…. And she knows where Corman Street is!" Jin shrieked over the loud racket.

Kazuya nodded and flung open the door somehow. "Bears in the boot" he stated.

Panda growled angrily and Kuma winked at Panda as they were shoved in to the small boot. Ling slipped in beside Jin and clung to his arm.

"Little Girl, tell us where Corman street is!" Kazuya screamed.

"Why is he calling me that?" she whispered to Jin

Lee over heard and growled "he's crazy, play along"

Ling nodded and told him

After another couple of hours of getting lost they found it. The house 2345 was gigantic and mostly a mansion, with a fountain bubbling out the front. Kazuya pulled the car to a halt and leapt out. He rumbled up the drive and towards the large wooden door. But before he could knock the door was flung open. There stood a beautiful blonde woman wearing a tight body suit and stiletto's she was brandishing a knife at the blonde man behind her

"I tell you, I'm your mother!" she cried making stabbing motions at him.

"Yes…okay just go… i-"he broke off when he saw Kazuya in his underwear standing behind the blonde woman.

"What is-" she began and turned seeing Kazuya.

"I WANT MY SUIT DAMN YOU!" he shrieked at the blond man.

"What the hell?" asked Nina, the woman with the knife?

Before the blonde man could answer Nina told him "don't worry Steve honey, let mummy handle this" she said smoothing out Steve's Hawaiian Shirt. She turned to Kazuya and growled "bring it on!"

Kazuya snarled "he stole my favourite purple suit! He must DIE!"

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked, then he realised "oh my god… you're the nutter that was calling that phone"

"T'was I" Kazuya snapped "now give it back!"

"I think you should know Nina found that phone and bought it over when she came…over to…tell…me" he trailed off

"That I'm his mumsy-poo" Nina finished, hugging Steve.

Steve slapped his forehead and shook his head. Ling approached the small group clinging off of Jin. Panda and Kuma were rolling around on the ground…doing something more than playing.

"Oh yuck...where's the hose?" Steve asked with Nina clinging off him.

"Don't wet Panda…it's not her fault she has animal urges" Ling whined

"I was going to use it to get this crazy broad off me" Steve sighed.

Kazuya came out of his idiot trance and demanded "GET ME THAT PHONE!"

"Fine…" Steve groaned, he kicked Nina off and scrambled in side the house.

In the time he was gone Nina noted "isn't he just a handsome fellow, he's grown up so fast!" she began to get teary, "I missed his childhood, I'm such a bad mother" she wailed.

"Can we go?" asked Lee from the car, still smoking a fag.

Steve returned holding a small mobile phone. Kazuya drooled and snatched it off him

"My suit…need my suit!" he whinged as he battered at the keypad, trying to find any sign of who owned it.

"We can't take any chances with this…Steve... your coming with us" Kazuya growled.

"If he's going I'm going too" Nina declared stubbornly.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Steve screamed in despair, he dropped to his knees and raised his hand to the sky.

"Don't cry baby, mummy will make it better" The crazed Nina soothed hugging her son again. He screamed again and tried to pull out of her motherly grip.

"Okay we need to think of code names… ah…" Jin thought for a moment.

"Panda can be Cutie Bear!" Ling exclaimed.

"Agreed, and Kuma could be Big Bear" squealed Jin happily.

"And you can all be called Fags!" shouted Lee from his seat in the car.

"Look who's talking!" called Steve angrily; he'd had enough with this day.

"Steve," Kazuya commanded "you can be Brit Boy"

"Oh yeah…that's real creative can't I be…" Steve said

"No"

"Bu-"

"No….and Nina can be Mumsy Poo!" Kazuya growled.

"YAY. Now for some quality mother son time!" Nina exclaimed clasping her hands in joy.

"Kill me now… just do it" Steve moaned. Lee laughed at him as he tried to get Kuma back into the car. He was soon attacked by the…sexually aroused….bear….and by attacked I mean raped….

review or don't review still doesn't make a difference (wow i spelt itright this time)


	4. Chapter 4

another one indeed, more too come... still don't own...but some day... i will

Kazuya finally pulled up at the hospital and they dragged Lee into it.

"See that's what happens when you try and control a sexually aroused bear" Kazuya told the bleeding man. That stirred up some giggles from the group, mostly Ling and Jin. Kuma sat in the boot sheepishly triumphant.

They rushed into the glass doors as in they weren't aware that the doors weren't automatic. Lee was sent headfirst through the glass, Kazuya tripped, Jin fell over his dad, Ling fell on Jin Steve fell on Ling and Nina fell on Steve.

"Ahhh….. Get off" Jin screamed in a muffled tone. Everyone jumped from him and they all looked down at themselves, they all had glass in them.

"Ow…." Steve stated in a delayed reaction as trickles of blood popped from their wounds.

"Oh no…. Steve you're hurt!" the psychotic Nina shouted, she tried to embrace her son who was sitting on the ground. He raised his leg and it connected with her stomach, she still tried to hug him but his leg kept her at bay. "Thank god I have my limbs!" he sighed in relief as he pulled glass out of his arms.

Ling was pulling glass out of her hair and spotted Lee still bleeding holding a frying pan above Kazuya's head.

"Kazuya, Watch out!" she cried. Kazuya turned and saw Lee and his frying pan

"You stupid ass, I'll kill you!" Lee screamed. Before he could bring the frying pan on Kazuya's head a nurse came up to the group and asked "is everything all right?"

Nina yelped and grasped the nurse "my son is in dire need of medical attention"

Steve groaned "I'm fine, I don't need medical attention!"

Lee crawled weakly to where Nina and the nurse stood. He began pulling on the nurses dress "I need help" he stated weakly. Nina kicked him away and said "HELP MY SON!"

"Nina I don't need help, I'm fine!" Steve exclaimed.

Jin was examining a surgical operation of the heart.

"Oh so is that how you do it! No wonder the man I did this on is extremely deformed!"

He appeared back with the group. He saw Kazuya lying on the ground playing go fish with Kuma and Panda.

The nurse was ignoring Nina and took Lee into a room. Nina screamed loudly and started stabbing a small child's teddy bear.

After waiting for three hours they were told they could visit Lee. But the catch was they had to give their names. Kazuya whispered to his league of extraordinary gentlemen and women "don't give them your real name" in a voice not unlike Sean Connery.

"Name" asked the nurse.

"Er…Miggly ha Luber" Kazuya said. After a moments hesitation Jin spoke "Tom Ateo" he shifted his eyes. Ling said "my name is Joan of Arc"

Steve sighed and said "Hamish Spamish"

Nina hugged Steve and told the nurse "I'm his mumsy poo, Gertrude's the name!"

They were all shown Lee's room. When they were alone they made fun of each others names.

Lee woke up and frantically pressed the nurse button "get away from me you crazy freaks!"

"We like you to lee" Ling told him patting his bandaged face. A nurse arrived; it turned out to be Nina's Sister Anna. She walked in wearing a frumpy nurse's outfit.

"So is this your job?" Nina asked.

"SHUT UP WHORE!" Anna screamed pulling out a knife. Nina shrieked and told her "you can't kill me; I have to support my child!"

"Argh" Steve cried in resignation. Jin scoffed at him whilst flushing the toilet for no reason. Kazuya asked "anybody got a 7" when everybody looked at him weirdly he said "oh right, we're not playing go fish"

Anna approached Steve and pinched his cheek in regular Auntie Fashion. "Aww….isn't he just adorable" she oozed.

"Ow… do you know how much that hurts?" He told Anna. "This would be less weird if I were 7"

"Lee, is you fit to go on?" Kazuya shouted suddenly. Lee nodded and stood from his bed. "Good, cause we gotta make like a hockey player and get the puck outta here!" he cried happily.

"How do we get out?" Ling asked before Kazuya pushed her out the window. They heard Ling screaming then a thud. Kazuya lent out the window and called to her "did it hurt?"

She shook her head and told him "it isn't that bad actually" Kazuya then leapt from the window and landed on the standing girl.

"Hey that was pretty fun" Kazuya said leaping up and running to get the car. Jin jumped from the window and completely missed the human mattress and landed instead in the garden. Nina and Anna both jumped battling each other in the air. Anna had her trusty bazooka and fired it at Nina, it missed. Nina was stabbing at her with a knife, just as they were about to kill each other they met the ground, leaving a big crater in it. Jin stood up covered in toilet brushes and flowers "aren't I romantic" he asked in a daze before he collapsed unconscious.

They heard Kazuya calling for them. The group approached the car.

"hey where's my nephew?" Anna asked in a worried tone.

"I'm right here" Steve announced coming through the smashed glass door.

Lee hobbled after him. "yeah…there was a door" Steve told them.

Panda roared…in translation "I love you Steve!"

Kuma growled…in translation " I love you Panda!"

Everyone stared… everything was silent…. Except for the sound of sirens and screaming people.

After three hours more of standing like that they all squeezed into the car, Lee and Kazuya and Kuma in the front. Ling, Jin, Panda and Steve in the back.

"why are we in the boot?" Nina called

"because you're crazy!" Jin screamed crazily.

Panda was looking at Steve lovingly. "eep" he uttered before Panda embraced him in a bear hug. Everyone laughed except for Kuma who was jealous.

"so Kazuya where do we go now?" asked Jin whilst reading a book called 'how to act like a real soldier.'

"well on the phone it said something about a man named Christie and a woman called Eddie."

"good… let's KILL THEM!" Anna cried from the boot. They heard a thump and an 'ouch' then some manic laughter.

"so is that where we're headed?" Steve asked whilst reading a book called 'how to escape and kill you're crazed mother and maniacal aunt in 10 easy steps'

"exactly" Kazuya explained whilst reading a book called 'how to drive with your feet'. Lee yelped in his full body cast and tried to steer the car.

Kuma was reading a book called ' how to get the Panda you love.' Panda was reading a book called 'how to get the Steve you love' and Ling was reading 'how to get Jin in a bin…by bin I mean your house…as in…I don't know just read it' Lee growled at everyone when they pulled up in front the sea shanty.

there you have it...review if you want


	5. Chapter 5

back again... wow this is the longest i've focused on something, thanks for reviewing, preciate it, if i owned Tekken things would get interesting...

"Where the cluck are we?" asked Jin. The sea shanty's roof was sagging like an old woman's- okay not gonna finish – and the yard had over grown fish heads in it.

The door opened and out walked Christie wearing her usual skimpy clothing.

"Ah…you must be the man Christie… whose name I found in the phone" Kazuya shouted from the car.

Christie looked at him quizzically. Kazuya screamed in frustration and shouted "I said… you must be Christie… come here"

Christie scrambled inside and slammed the door.

"DAMN! I WANT MY SUIT!" Kazuya cried out in anguish. They all got out of the car and approached the sagging door. "Let us in!" Kazuya growled slamming his fist on the door. Jin was immersed deeply in his new book 'how to block out weird smells.' Ling was hiding her nose behind her hands, trying to block out the smell. Christie opened the door a crack, Kazuya forced his underwear clad self in and had a large club bashed down on his head, he turned around with birds flying around a lump on his head. He raised his finger in the way a professor would when announcing something important and announced " thank you for inventing the wheel, thank you for this special meal, stuff ourselves til war and peace are moot, keep on searching for my favourite suit, forever and ever amen" before collapsing on the stone hard ground.

"Is he dead?" asked Ling.

"Does it matter?" Jin asked with a fish head on his hands playing as a puppet. Lee growled something into his whole body cast, translated he said "he dragged us all the way here, I think it does"

Steve found a twenty foot fishing harpoon and poked Kazuya with the sharpened end. Kazuya leapt up and glowered at Christie.

"Where is the woman of this house…? I guess she'd have more sense" he screamed.

"She… I mean he is in that box… hey you just called me a man!" She replied angrily.

Kazuya searched greedily in the box and pulled out Eddie, who held a bottle of Scotch in his hand.

"Eddie! Are you drinking?" Christie cried accusingly. Eddie became all shifty eyed and slipped the bottle of scotch in to the back pocket of Steve's pants, who was using his new found fishing harpoon as a shield from the love-crazed Panda.

"Well?" Christie asked impatiently tapping her foot on the ground. Eddie glanced around and suddenly shouted in a slurred voice "hey, Steve's got the alcohol, not me!"

"What?" Cried Steve in disbelief, he felt a hand go into his back pocket, he yelped gripping his rump. He turned and saw Panda some how grinning at him holding the scotch out to Kazuya "Perverted Panda!" he cried, pointing at the Panda. Ling sighed and said her apologies for her bear's actions.

"How dare you have alcohol?" Nina screamed clipping Steve around the head.

Lee was rolling around on the ground in his full body cast laughing. Jin whispered to his new found friend fish head then hurled an egg at Lee's face, which was hidden by a cast. Lee stopped laughing and growled.

Kazuya downed the scotch and turned to Eddie. "Okay Ma'am, why did you steal my suit?"

Eddie laughed and told him "I didn't steal no suit, 'specially yours; it's purple for god sakes. No… I didn't steal your suit"

"Well then who did? Why were you in the phone of the person who stole my suit?" Kazuya asked angrily.

Christie sighed and asked "why would we put ourselves on the phone if it was ours in the beginning?"

"Because..." Kazuya began then thought about it "Argh!"

Jin scoffed and asked Christie "okay got me a smart question, Do you recognize the phone?" he handed Christie the small mobile phone.

"How did you get that?" Kazuya asked in horror! "I had it!"

"Well I got it from Panda, she said Steve wanted her to give it to me" he told his father.

Panda let out a series of roars translated she said "I got it from Steve, who told me he got it from Lee, who was told to look after it by Kazuya"

Everyone stared off into space for a minute, trying to comprehend what had just happened. "So... Lee you ass, you stole it from me!" Kazuya shouted. Lee grinned sheepishly through his new body of plaster of Paris.

"Oh… and F.Y.I I don't know… wait, I think its Paul's!" Christie exclaimed going wide-eyed.

"Where is Paul then?" asked Kazuya.

"He's in America or something" Christie explained.

"Holy hell!" Nina exclaimed "we left Anna in the car! Wait… why do I care?" she asked herself.

"I wanna go home!" whined Steve, like all children will do after losing interest in something.

"Shhh… we'll be home soon, then we can have some fun" Nina soothed hugging Steve, he thought for a moment and asked "ah…Nina, did… did you just have a go at me?"

Everyone in the room stared at them. Steve slowly backed away from Nina wide-eyed and terrified.

Jin spoke to his fish head puppet and said to the others in the room "well, I think we need to take these to along with us… no need for code names"

"What! I got this lame ass code name and you don't even bother with them? "Steve burst out angrily.

"Everyone, in the car… to the airport!' Kazuya snarled running to the car. He jumped into the drivers' seat, Kuma, Lee sat beside him. The others sat squished in the back, except for Anna and Nina who were still shoved into the boot.

"Ow… someone's sitting on my arm" complained Jin

"There's someone on my hair!" exclaimed Christie.

"You think you've got problems, I've got a panda straddling me… and she moving closer!" complained Steve. Suddenly the car halted and everyone fell out in front of the airport. "That was too close!" he panted, kneeling on the side walk.

They all entered the airport, ready to find Paul and get Kazuya's suit back.

that's it for now, enjoy it. review if you feel like it


	6. Chapter 6

thanks for reviewing, appreciate it lots. you may be disappointed with this one but i've somehow become sick and some family crisis.

don't own nothin except my idea

Well there they were the group of misfits and the insanely psychotic standing at the door of the airport.

"Should we go in?" asked Jin, mostly to the fish head still on his hand.

"OF COURSE, I'M GETTING MY DAMN SUIT BACK!" Kazuya screamed charging in to the bustling airport. Before he could get very far a policeman pulled him up.

"Sir… your going to have to where clothes in here" the policeman told him in the nicest way possible.

"WHAT! I CAN'T WEAR ANYTHING BUT MY SUIT AND I DON'T HAVE IT SO I WILL NOT WEAR ANYTHING BUT MY UNDERWEAR!" Kazuya screamed getting in a huff.

"Sir, I don't think that made sense… look come with me" the policeman stated.

"JIN, LEE… ANYONE HELP ME!" Wailed Kazuya, looking over to his group.

Everyone looked away, began whistling and zoomed off.

"DAMN! THEY DIDN'T HEAR ME" Kazuya shouted as he was dragged away.

Meanwhile the 'group' were standing in a long line to buy tickets.

"Ah… who has the money?" Steve asked as they all moved up the line.

"What?" asked Jin.

"The money… the money we need to buy the tickets?" Steve continued trying to make Jin understand.

"What… wait DAMMIT TO HELL?" Jin shouted slapping his forehead.

Kuma growled and in translation "we have to save Kazuya"

Everyone stepped out of the line and went looking for Kazuya.

In an interrogation room the policeman sat opposite Kazuya at a table

"Sir… please tell me your name, I can help you find your suit" the policeman told him

"NO ONE CAN FIND IT BESIDE MY BAND OF MERRY MISFITS!" Kazuya snarled.

"Fine, but you have to wear something on the plane" The copper told him.

"CATCH ME FIRST HAHAHAHA!" Kazuya screamed randomly then sat there staring out into space.

"Sir?" the cop asked.

"Oh, in my mind I ran… okay well see ya!" Kazuya jumped up and ran away.

The band of merry misfits as Kazuya called them had spilt up to find the crazy man.

Ling, Panda, Anna, Christie all went one way, Nina, Jin, Kuma and Steve went back towards the entrance and Lee lay on a bench.

Group 2 (Nina, Jin, Kuma and Steve) were going back down to the lobby on an escalator, when they saw Kazuya running up the up escalator beside them.

"Damn him!" Steve exclaimed. The group (not necessarily thinking) turned and tried running up the down escalator.

"Pop! GET BACK HERE!" Jin called angrily. Kazuya ignored them and kept running.

The girls heard Jin's cry and they enter a glass elevator, beside them they saw Kazuya going up in another elevator. "CRAP!" Anna cried out.

Lee heard Anna and Jin's cry and when he saw Kazuya running towards him, he painfully rolled off his seat tripping the deluded man.

Everyone ran up to the pair that were lying on the floor…

"Well, let's get our plane tickets" Kazuya suggested.

"Might as well" everyone answered in unison then looked around in shock for that very reason. They all stood in the long line again.

Four hours later they had bought their tickets and were sitting on the plane in second class.

Kazuya was screaming in pain. A stewardess arrived and asked him what the matter was. Kazuya stopped screaming and shouted at her "YOU KNOW NOT OF THE AGONY THAT MY LEGS GO THROUGH IN THIS CRAMPED PROXIMITY!"

"Okay sir, we're going to have to ask you to quieten down!" the stewardess told him. "NEVER!" He screamed before Lee whacked him over the head with his casted arm.

Kazuya fell unconscious in his seat.

Further down Jin was playing Checkers with his fish head puppet. Eddie, Nina and Anna were drinking merrily. Ling and Christie were having a bitch fight with an old woman.

Steve got up to go to the bathroom when he felt eyes on him, it was Panda. He hurried away but heard the familiar patter of Panda feet. Not good he thought. He began to run; the feet behind him sped up. He ran faster until he ran head on into and old man. He fell on the ground dazed. Panda was right behind him when he yelped and crawled under the seats.

Kazuya slipped from his seat and rolled around on the ground, finally he got up and said "I need to stretch my legs" he skipped away but tripped over Panda sitting in the aisle swiping under the seat.

"What are you doing?" he asked the Panda.

Steve popped up behind him and whispered "get that bear away from me"

Kazuya turned and got an evil idea… evil indeed, he whispered to Steve "go hide in the bathroom up there, I'll get this Panda off your back"

Steve sighed and smiled and ran off as quietly as possible.

When Kazuya was sure he was in the bathroom he approached the Panda and told her where Steve was. The Panda squealed in an un panda like way and loped into the bathroom. Kazuya opened the door that Panda hadn't locked and saw Steve warding off the Panda with all his might.

"YOU JACKASS… YOU'RE GOING DOWN BASTARD!" Steve screamed, dodging the Panda's love whatever that is…

Kazuya wiped his hands and went back to his seat. Jin came running up and said "PAPA! KUMA IS ATTACKING A STERWARDESS"

Kazuya growled and saw it was the stewardess that told him to 'quieten down' he chuckled happily and fell asleep.

Steve, who finally escaped the panda and was covered in scratches and bites and slobber…lots of slobber, found the sleeping Kazuya and got himself an idea,. He asked Jin and Lee for help…. They carried out their plan….

Kazuya woke up with wind whipping his hair around his face and little droplets of condensation sitting in his eyes. He looked around and found himself lying on the wing of the plane. He screamed as the plane dipped, he clung onto the edge and looked towards the window, there he saw Steve's triumphant face, and Steve smiled and waved before gathering the rest of the 'crew' everyone laughed. Kazuya growled and clung tighter as the plane sped towards the ground.

The plane landed and everyone got off alright including Kazuya who only had windburn.

"Tit for Tat mate" Steve told him as he fell off the wing and hit the ground.

"Someone say tit?" Eddie asked completely off his face and began giggling madly.

"Okay let's find Paul and get my suit" Kazuya said in an exceptionally bad mood. Everyone followed him obligingly.

i'm not to happy with this one, but i'll try and make it better next time, review if you want... see ya for now


	7. Chapter 7

thanks for reviewing, it suprises me... anywho i'm pretty sick so this chapter was a little forced and i ran out of things for it, but yeah... so you may be disappointed. don't own nothing except a dirty tissue and a broken teleporting machine

After wondering around for hours on end they finally spotted Paul. They all sat on a bus bench and watched as he walked in to a Karaoke bar.

"Karaoke bar?" Ling asked astounded.

"yes… that sicko" Kazuya growled hiding behind sunglasses and a fake moustache. "let's get him!" he said as he jumped from the seat and scrambled into the bar.

"he's gone crazy I swear" Lee told everyone.

They followed Kazuya into the bar. Kazuya was sitting at a table beside Paul hiding behind a newspaper, watching him. Paul was watching an orange haired man belting out a tune.

The orange haired boy Hwoarang was dancing around doing a pretty good rendition of You Spin Me Right Round. As he neared the chorus Jin called "you suck!"

Hwoarang faltered and kept singing. Jin got angry so picked up an old lady and hurled the screaming octogenarian at Hwoarang. "get off the stage" Jin called. Hwoarang was bowled over by the old flying woman and saw jin

"you!" he cried out.

"yes… tis' I" Jin told him, standing up in a hero stance.

"you're going down!" Hwoarang shouted jumping from the stage and rushing at Jin. "I know how to settle this once and for all"

"how?" Jin asked.

"A Best out of Three match of SNAP!" Hwoarang shouted.

"you're on!" Jin screamed, they both collapsed on the ground and Hwoarang began shuffling and splitting the cards.

Meanwhile… with the rest of the gang…

Ling was watching the heated match of Snap. Anna and Nina headed straight for the bar.

"you pay!' Anna shouted completely drunk.

"NO! You pay!" Nina complained.

"you do it!" Anna argued back. The bartender rolled his eyes and rested on the bar waiting for his payment.

Steve and Eddie and Christie stared drooling at the Karaoke Stage. Their eyes twitched dangerously.

"whattadaya say?" Eddie asked.

"let's do it!" Steve said scrambling towards the stage.

"Okay" Christie agreed.

Panda and Kuma sat at a table watching the trio getting on stage.

Kazuya ignored his group and finally threw off his pitiful disguise and shouted at Paul "YOU STOLE MY SUIT"

Paul stared at him quizzically. "what?" he asked.

"Don't play dumb with me!" Kazuya seethed. "you called the drycleaners stole my suit, lost your phone too Nina and planted Christie's and Eddie's name in it!"

"what?" Paul asked still dumb-founded.

"you know exactly what I'm talking about you… you stupid… little help guys?" Kazuya turned to his group for insults.

From stage he heard Steve call "you vanilla ice reject!"

Then Hwoarang's voice from the floor "Middle-aged Rebel wannabe!" he called.

"IDIOT!" Kazuya shouted at Paul thrusting the phone under Paul's nose.

"hey that's my phone! Where'd you find it!" Paul exclaimed.

"we know it's your phone…. Tell me, why did you steal my suit!" Kazuya growled.

" my phone was stolen weeks ago, so it couldn't have been me… the dude that stole it was called Porpoise Cork or something like that… he sounded a lot like-" he was cut off by the same old woman being thrown at him by Jin and Lee.

"sorry, thought you were someone else" they called.

Meanwhile on stage, the music started….

What song was it… you guessed it…. Bohemian Rhapsody….

Steve being lead singer stood facing away from the crowd, tapping his foot to the beat as Christie and Eddie sang back up….

Finally it was his turn and he jumped around and began singing….

Panda went wild, and so did the old scary woman that kept getting thrown at people… and a scary giant man with a leopard mask King…

Steve shuddered as he sang when he saw King screaming like a rabid fan girl.

Let's skip right to when…

The beat picked up and Steve started dancing more and he sang

#so you think you can stone me and spit in my eye…so you think you can love me and leave to die, oh baby – can't do this to me baby-#

His singing was cut off by Panda scrambling on the stage. In a panicked tone Steve finished the verse with #i just gotta get out- just gotta get right outta here# with that he ran off the stage, Eddie finished up in his place, two people clapped, the old woman and King. They heard Steve scream and Panda giggle (some how) several seconds later Steve staggered out with more bites and scratches and more slobber all over him. He raised his hands to the audience of two and bowed and said "I'll be here all night" before passing out.

Hwoarang leapt up from the ground and screamed "TAKE THAT KAZAMA, I BEAT YOU!"

Jin scowled and said "cos' I let you win!"

"Whatever!" Hwoarang growled.

They sat back down and began another game. Before they could start Kazuya announced "We will get stuff to eat and then look for Porpoise Cork!"

He ushered everyone out in to the street

"there was food in there" Ling told him.

"yeah, but there are two drunk women in there" He replied looking around.

Panda had Steve in her Love Hug which is similar to a death hug of death, and yeah you could Steve gasping for breath and choking on his words as he pleaded. Kuma scowled and began marking his territory for some reason. Ling was watching Jin and Hwoarang throw rocks at each other whilst hiding behind peoples cars. King came out of the Karaoke bar and approached Christie with a notepad

"can I get your autograph?" he asked shyly. Christie looked at him oddly and signed the paper.

"there you are" she said as she handed it back.

Eddie complained and said "hey, man, I was the talented one in the group"

"you were not!" choked Steve.

"yeah… well it certainly wasn't you!" Christie told him.

"ah… whose the one that has**_ two_** groupies?" Steve asked or more panted, pointing to the old woman wearing an I LOVE STEVE shirt and waving a balloon with his name on it.

Kazuya silenced everyone and shouted "I would like to introduce to you our new members of Merry Misfits, give it up for Paul!" nobody clapped. "and King" one person clapped and that was King.

"okay whatever… now let's get food!" Jin shouted as he was hit with a giant boulder catapulted at him by Hwoarang. He fell to the ground moaning.

"okay… let's go" agreed an unaware Kazuya, riding a tricycle so he didn't have to walk.

yeah, there you have it, read it review it... all that jazz... okay i'm thinking of starting a Tekken/ Rocky horror parody how would that go down?


	8. Chapter 8

okay here we go again, i'm pretty sure you'll like this one... don't own anything except broken teleporting macine (mother threw away my dirty tissue)

Well finally they found a restaurant that didn't have drunk people in it or a karaoke stage. They barged in and sat themselves at a table.

"Waiter!" Kazuya called. An old man in a diaper approached them with a notepad.

"What can I get ya?" in an old mans voice said the old man.

"Hmm… what does everyone want?" Kazuya asked

"Hmm" everyone mimicked.

The old man rolled his eyes and two hours later Kazuya finally asked for a menu.

The old man went to get it. Another old man in a diaper came up and asked "No pets allowed"

Panda roared something and in translation "I'm not a pet I'm Steve's woman"

Steve made a weird choking/yelping sound and pulled himself from Panda's love Hug.

"Well leopard man has to go, so does the other bear"

"I'm a man!" King screamed beating the old man up angrily.

"This place is full of a lot of old people" Ling whispered to Christie.

"Yeah… Kazuya are you sure we're in a restaurant?" she asked Kazuya

Kazuya nodded and said "it's called The Old Folks Home, as in Folks from ye olden times"

"Um… Kazuya, I don't think that's what it means" Paul told him. "Although there was some pretty fine women here" he added

"EWWWWWW!" Everyone hissed.

Hwoarang and Jin took their match of SNAP to another table where an old woman was sitting.

"Old lady, we need this table!" Hwoarang shouted.

"But there is an empty one right there" the old woman told him pointing.

"Okay good, you move there then" Jin said.

"But why don't you take that one?" the old woman asked

"We don't want that one, we want this one" Hwoarang complained.

"but-" the old woman was cut off by King

"This woman causing you trouble boys?" King asked dressed as a body guard.

"Yes actually she won't move" Hwoarang told him

"Okay old lady just move along and nobody gets hurt" King said wheeling the old woman away. He got tired of pushing her and just let her roll away down some stairs.

Back at the table Kazuya told the waiter "yes, good sir, I would liketh some of ye old mutton and roasted potatoes for thy stomach is growling for some of ye tasty food … eth"

The waiter looked at him strangely. Everyone looked at him strangely.

Next the waiter asked Panda what she wanted. "Can I get a room here? It's me and my man's anniversary" she growled.

Steve whimpered and crawled under the table trying to escape, but Panda grabbed his ankle and dragged him to an empty room…. Which was full of people. Steve whimpered again and dug his nails into the floor, leaving a trail of ripped carpet.

Eddie shrugged and noted an old man eating some brussell sprouts. "Oh… they look good" he said to the waiter.

Christie groaned and said "you know what happened last time you ate Sprouts"

Eddie blushed.

"What happened?" Ling asked excitedly as Paul, Kazuya, Kuma and Lee all leaned towards Christie.

"He was farting all night!" she said laughing at the beet red Eddie.

Everyone laughed. Kazuya said "ah… that was a funny one good wench of the Castle Master… ye should be the royal jester"

Everyone stared again.

King was body slamming an old man for hitting on Christie.

"Huh? Yeah that's right…you don't mess with my girl!" King growled.

"Okay… okay" the old man pleaded.

Hwoarang growled as Jin jumped up pelvic thrusting screaming "WOOO! IN YOU'RE FACE HWOARANG I BEAT YO ASS…. YEAH!"

"I guess you won" Paul questioned

"Obviously! WOOO!" Jin screamed pelvic thrusting on to the dance floor and doing some Michael Jackson dancing.

"Shut up kazama, I'll win next time!" Hwoarang told him.

"Everyone, gather around the royal table and pay heed to thy voice," Kazuya called standing on his chair. Steve crawled out of the room weeping and moaning in agony. Panda came up and hugged and licked him.

"maybe we should do something about that?" Ling said

"ah… lucky Panda, she finally found love" Paul cooed, mocking Steve, who flopped down on a chair and began trembling and ranting about Panda love and the teeth, the horrible teeth.

"now that we're all here…what did you want?" Hwoarang asked.

"ah my good sirs and ladies, we are here to feast upon thy food, and our quest is in the closing ranks, all thy wanted to say was find me thy damn Suit!" he shouted angrily.

"we're doing our best!" Lee growled.

"no, we're doing our best your doing nothing" Paul shouted.

"you've only been here for the past couple of hours!" Lee shouted back.

"Everyone eat!" Kazuya ordered. They all sat down and began to eat. Jin and Hwoarang shot angry glance at each other from opposite ends of the table. Kazuya watched over his Band of Merry Misfits fondly. Panda was nuzzling Steve, Steve was trying to get a knife to stab himself but Ling and Christie removed any knife he happened upon. Paul and King were having an arm wrestling competition with an old woman who was winning. Kuma was glaring daggers at Steve who, if perchance the daggers were real, would have taken one and stabbed himself in the heart to end his miserable co-existance with Panda.

"Mommy!" Steve moaned when his latest attempt to kill himself was foiled.

"yes dear?" asked Nina who walked through the door.

"make it stop!" he wailed as Panda pet him.

"yes sir!" Nina growled getting in her fighting stance "come on Panda, bring it!"

Panda growled and slapped Nina down. Nina jumped back up and said "is that all you got?"

Panda slapped her down again. Nina jumped up again.

"WOOO, CAT FIGHT!" Paul exclaimed. Everyone gathered around Nina and Panda as they fought.

Kazuya moon-walked across their path and said "Stop ye Fighting, don't ye see, thy fighting is tearing us apart?"

Steve growled "well if Nina doesn't fight Panda, that bears gonna tear me apart!"

Kazuya growled "oh so you want a fight ey?"

"oh ya wanna go me?" Steve asked as Kazuya and him began fighting.

"YAY, A BRAWL!" Paul exclaimed jumping in as well soon everyone was in on it.

Jin and Hwoarang started hitting each other of the head with bats as the Crew fought around them.

"FEEL THE LOVE!" King cried.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!" Christie screamed slapping King

"OH, SO THAT WAS WHY IT WAS SO SOFT!" he screamed as Christie hit him with a fork.

Yup the end of another one didn't really know how to finish this chapter. review if ya feel. i guess i'll be seeing you next time...


	9. Chapter 9

well here you are... we're nearing the end of this little quest, sorry if it's a tad short. hope ya enjoy... still own nothin but my dirty tissue

After our gang had gone to the hospital to get their wounds healed instantaneously, they went to find out who Porpoise Cork was.

"Where should we start?" King asked as they stared around the city.

"Maybe we should follow those signs…" Ling stated pointing at an arrow saying 'Porpoise Cork this way' in it.

"Fantastic idea Kazuya!" Kazuya shouted charging off to follow the arrows.

As Jin walked Hwoarang came up and started taunting him "I am so gonna win this match of Snap, I can feel it" Hwoarang claimed.

Jin growled and walked on.

Paul was dragging his feet and complaining "I wanna go home! My feet hurt… I'm hungry!"

"We just ate like ten seconds ago" Christie said.

"woo… you tell him Christie!' King growled dancing around with an 'I love Christie' shirt, much the same as that of the old woman who was wearing a shirt except with Steve on it… (Did that make sense?)

Speaking of Steve (or more like speaking of Steve's groupies) he was looking incredibly depressed as he was dragged along by Panda. Nina screamed after seeing her son in this horrible way "I'LL SAVE YOU!" Before jumping on Panda's head and stabbing her repeatedly with a knife. Panda walked on oblivious to everything but Steve.

Paul collapsed on the ground… "So hungry" he groaned.

"If you make it to the next arrow I'll give you candy" Kazuya screeched bouncing around everyone excitedly.

"WOOO!" Everyone screamed running to the next arrow. Kazuya gave them their candy as promised.

After about four hours of walking and one trillion billion steps and a krillion fafillion complaints they saw someone ahead.

"Excuse me WHA?" Kazuya began as he saw it was Anna. She had an evil grin on her face and said

"Oh ya wanna leave me at the Karaoke Bar huh?"

"Er… you lost us…" Jin said pulling on his collar.

"Did i? No I didn't" Anna screamed. "And now you pay my army of Grungy Sewer Rats that I have been training for years will tear you apart"

Just as she said that out of the sewer grate crawled a gigantic rat the size of a border collie. It's long tail trailing along the ground like a dead snake.

"EEEPPPPP!" Paul exclaimed jumping in to Christie's arms Scooby Doo Style.

"Ret's run Raul" Christie said like Scooby.

"Like, great Idea Scoobs, let's go!" Paul said and they run off.

"BETRAYAL!" Kazuya screamed helping the rest of his Band onto a dumpster as the Rats multiplied. They were now beating up giant rats to stay alive.

As the rats threatened their lives even more so than they had before Kazuya turned to his Band and told them

"my Band of merry Misfits, we tried our hardest, but Rats have outsmarted us… and I'm afraid we will never get out of here, so I wanted to say thank you for coming along, I love you guys!" he hugged everyone.

Steve staggered to his feet and snarled "I did not get attacked by my crazed mother, did not be degraded by a bloody panda, did not travel around the world…. Kind of, and put up with all you nutters and paper hats… to get killed by my crazy aunts army of Grungy Sewers Rats!' he jumped out of the Dumpster and started crushing the rats heads with the heel of his shoes.

"He's right! About everything except for we aren't fuelled by rage like he is… DAMN!" Jin cried.

"I was gonna say that!" Hwoarang growled. "I will not die, knowing that the world thinks you're better which you aren't!" Hwoarang jumped out as well and started the ritualistic rat crushing.

"He thinks his better than me! I bet I can kill more rats then you Hwoarang!" Jin cried jumping in to the front line.

"LET'S GET THEM!" Kazuya screamed beckoning everyone out to start rat head crushing along with the others.

Finally the last Rat was crushed and Anna cowered in her bin she'd taken cover in.

"Uh… it was Nina, she told me to!" Anna screeched as King picked up the bin and they played hacky-sack with it.

Christie and Paul came back and said "we found something, follow us!"

Everyone did,

They reached a large mansion with a pool filled with melted chocolate in it.

"Chocolate!" Paul cried jumping in the pool and swimming around.

"That's not what we're here for" Kuma growled (haven't heard from him in a while)

"Yes it is!" Kazuya yelled leaping into the chocolate pool.

"That's a little erotic isn't it?" Christie asked as Paul swam around taking in big mouthfuls choking on it then eating more.

"Hmm…" Panda thought before shoving Steve in it. He pulled himself with his eye twitching in rage. As Panda approached him he growled "DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT," Before running to hide behind Nina who was drinking chocolate from a cup.

Eventually everyone was covered in chocolate either voluntary (as in Paul and Kazuya's case) or involuntary (like Steve's case) and Jin said "dad, I want to go home… I'm covered in chocolate!"

"Ha… WIMP!" Hwoarang called.

"I've been excepting you" said familiar a voice behind.

Paul stopped his eating, Kazuya, Eddie, King and Kuma stopped their Bulgarian Chocolate Dance from Sweden, Jin and Hwoarang deceased their rock fight, Christie and Ling stopped playing Barbie Dolls Nina stopped trying to pull Panda off her son, and Panda stopped licking the chocolate from Steve and Steve actually stopped writhing and looked….

"Yes… I've been waiting indeed" came the voice of…

yea... sorry but didn't wanna give away THE BIG TWIST! So as our little number nears the closing ranks, where will our little band of misfits takes us for one last fling?


	10. Chapter 10

yeah, here we go again... dragging this thing out, boy! i'm still not sure what will happen in the grand finale... whoa i just had a sneezing fit... i don't own anything anymore, everythings been repossesed.

The owner of the voice was none other than… Lee, wearing a Speedo.

Everyone screamed and hid their eyes

"Oh god, my eyes!" Paul shouted diving behind a barrel.

"What, I always wear this?" Lee replied indignantly.

"hey, you were here all this time?" Kazuya asked, thinking back.

"So… you weren't even that worried about me? OH I HATE YOU!" Lee screamed like a girl.

"Yeah…so can I get my suit back?" Kazuya asked.

"No… you'll have to fight me!" Lee exclaimed. Adopting a hero stance.

"JUST GIVE HIM HIS DAMN SUIT BACK SO WE CAN GO HOME!

Hwoarang shouted trying to duck and weave out of the way of angry rocks being hurled at him by Jin.

"No… I must obey my lord" Lee said

"So… you're telling me that you don't have my suit?" Kazuya growled.

"If you beat me, then I can show where my lord is so you can get your suit back" Lee told him.

"OH, DAMN YOU!" Kazuya screamed becoming utterly enraged.

"WHAT! OH LEE, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS! I'M SICK OF THIS STUPID QUEST!" Steve shouted from the roof, the only place Panda couldn't get him.

King sat at the table and watched on, he turned to Ling, Christie and Eddie.

"Now right there we have an animal act of rage from the Stevius Vulpis…. See in the wild, animals scream at each other and settle their problems with violence… let's watch on"

Ling, Christie and Eddie nodded and began taking notes.

"Oh….look we'll be lucky enough to get a closer look at the Phoenix Pauline" King stated nodding as Paul walked past

"What did you just call me?" Paul snarled.

"Don't move…. The Phoenix Pauline's sight is based on movement" King whispered.

Paul glared then a look of surprise crossed his face…

"Hey…. King…. Where'd you go... this isn't funny…? Where are you?" Paul complained.

Jin and Hwoarang were currently having a staring contest

"Oh… yeah…. Blink Jin, I know you want to!" Hwoarang taunted.

"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you? Well I don't need to blink" Jin replied, eyes watering.

Hwoarang laughed, tears cascading down his face, "I don't need to blink either"

Back to suit situation.

Kazuya shouted "Lee, I'll take your challenge…. I'll kick yo ass!"

Lee scoffed. Nina jumped from the roof where Steve was, falling onto Panda, she collapsed unconscious.

"Oh… thank god!" Steve sighed, jumping from the roof and landing beside Lee.

Lee turned to look at him. Steve laughed and hit him over the head.

"YAY, WE WON!" Kazuya screamed, running to Hwoarang and Jin slapping them both on the back, they both blinked and growled

"Hey you blinked!" the said in unison

"Na ah… you blinked first" they replied in unison

Kazuya approached Lee and knelt beside him

"Okay Lee, tell me who has my suit" Kazuya said.

"Go inside, you'll find out whom" Lee choked.

"Well I guess we go" Steve said getting up.

They all gathered around the door of the mansion.

"Open the door" Kazuya told Kuma

Kuma growled in translation "no you do it"

"No… King…. You do it" Kazuya told King

"I don't wanna, Paul do it" King said pointing at Paul

"Hey, you're back, where'd you go?" Paul said smiling.

"I'll do it!" Nina said opening the door and stepping inside, an anvil fell on her head and she collapsed.

"Oh Mommy!" Steve cried rushing to his mum's side

Eddie felt her pulse. "She's dead"

"No I'm not!" Nina got up

"I said you were dead… don't embarrass me" Eddie whined

"Fine!" Nina said falling back to the ground, pretending to be dead.

"Fine" Eddie said

"Fine" said Nina

"Fine" Eddie repeated

"Fine" Kazuya said, nodding to Paul, who nodded to Steve, who nodded at Ling, who nodded at Jin who hit Hwoarang over the head.

Everyone stepped inside and were attacked by an army of Pauls.

"WHAT THE FUKE?" Christie screamed

"what the fuke is a fuke?" asked Eddie

"SHUT UP!" She screamed

King silenced everyone and said "Phoenix Paulines sight is based on movement everyone, stand still!"

everyone did as they were told, the army of Paul looked around, standing in a big stupid group of stupid.

But there was a small problem…. In the shape of a Panda. She regained consciousness and crawled along the ceiling where the Pauls couldn't see her, and stopped right above Steve. To get his attention she spat and the big drooley drool ball of drool fell on his shoulder.

Slowly Steve looked up and moaned.

"Don't move" King hissed through the corner of his mouth.

Steve whimpered in answer… the Pauls were looking intently around, trying to find their prisoners. Finally after a trillion more seconds of standing stock still the Pauls left.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief except for Steve who let out a muffled scream as Panda fell from the ceiling landing on him.

"why were they an army of Pauls?" Ling asked turning to Paul, he looked sheepish and said "I kind of went wild with the cloning machine…"

"idiot" everyone told him.

"come on let's get my suit!" Kazuya screamed, running up the stairs towards the main something or other.

"we'll be here SETTLING OUR SCORE!" Jin screamed sitting down on the ground shuffling the pack of cards

"oh you are so going down!" Hwoarang said with a grin, taking his cards.

"okay, everyone else, follow me!" Kazuya screamed racing towards the biggest door.

"fine!" Paul sighed

"Fine!" King said

"let's not start that again" Christie said.

"what ever you say my dear" King said sweetly.

well there you go, the end is nigh... review if you fancy, get ready for a show...


	11. Chapter 11

well here it is, the final installment well chapter but whatever... i've enjoyed writing this, because i have a very sad life. i hope you've enjoyed reading it. i've already got a couple of ideas floating around the old mind, just gotta sort them out and get them down so i won't be gone for long. i wanna thank you for reviews especially wanna thank tekkenlover, rock on buddy. anyway this is my christmas present to anyone who followed this story, don't own never will, life is good don't get ill

so on forth we charge...

They flung open the door and it opened onto a large room….

"What's this?" Kazuya screamed as he saw Yoshimitsu and Marshall sitting at a desk

We've been expecting you Kazzy!" Yoshimitsu said, standing dressed as a butterfly

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" Kazuya shouted.

Everyone heard Jin's voice from down stairs "SEE NOT SO GREAT IS IT?"

"Oh, we weren't expecting you Foxy…" he continued.

Steve looked at him and said "that's just weird"

"And… you Kingey… and Paulie" Yoshimitsu continued

"NEVER!" The two of them screamed.

"Where is my suit?" Kazuya hissed.

"HA… IT'S IN A SPECIAL EASILY ACCESIBLE GLASS CASE!" Marshall shouted.

"Well can't we just break it?" Ling asked

"NO… BECAUSE… OH DAMMIT!" Marshall shrieked dressed as Frank-N-Furter.

Yoshimitsu was still calling everyone a nickname "and you Christie-ey and you Nina-ey"

"Shut up!" Kuma said pushing Yoshimitsu out a window.

"So where in this room is my suit?" Kazuya asked, rather politely.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite, from Transsexual, Transylvania…. Oh sorry got carried away… what did you say?" Marshall asked, looking up from his dancing.

"WHERE IN THIS STINKING ROOM IS MY DAMN SUIT?" Kazuya shouted again.

"Oh…. Ah….um…." Yoshimitsu said, thinking.

"Ya know…. I've clean forgotten…. Silly old you" Marshall said.

"Silly old you… Don't you mean silly old me?" Steve asked beating panda off with a stick

"I know what I said…" Marshall said folding his arms, he looked at Steve. Steve beat Panda and stared quizzically at Marshall.

"Oh… you find it!" Yoshimitsu said waving at Kazuya with his sword from the window.

Marshall stared at Steve…. Steve beat Panda and stared at him.

Meanwhile back at the SNAP GAME!

Hwoarang slowly pulled a card from his deck and laid it down slowly

Jin slowly pulled a card from his deck and laid it down slowly…

Hwoarang slowly pulled a card from his deck and laid it down slowly

Jin slowly pulled a car from his-

"Oh you two are so slow!" cried Anna, back with a cause?

She stole all their cards

"NO!" Hwoarang cried

"WHY?" Jin screamed.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!" Anna laughed loudly.

She jumped up onto the ceiling and began crawling on it the way a certain man spider would.

"We need a very long stick so we can poke her down!" Hwoarang exclaimed running off to a broom cupboard.

"Indeed! Let's check up stairs!' Jin cried running up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Meanwhile in the room.

Steve asked Marshall "what the hell are you looking at?"

"You'd make a good Rocky Horror" Marshall said dancing around

"No thanks…." Steve sighed, still beating Panda with his super gigantic stick (no not THAT stick)

"Okay…." Marshall said.

Kazuya over turned the desk and looked around

"NOTHING!" he screamed.

King over turned the chair

"No suit" he sighed.

Nina looked in a vase

"Something tells me it's not here" she whispered

Christie, Ling and Eddie all pushed over the book case

"STILL NOTHING!' everyone cried in anguish

Paul looked at the picture

"I haven't destroyed anything for a while" he thought as he said it out loud. He raised his hand and knocked the picture from the wall. It fell with a loud smash.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked, in a deep hole in the wall was a large glass case.

Kazuya said dumb-founded.

"Oh my good looks… he actually found it!' Steve gasped

"Boy golly he found it" King said.

"Whoa… Paul is useful" everyone else said looking at him oddly.

"MY SWEET DEAR SUIT…. HOW I LOVE YOU! OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU…. OH MY GOOD LOOKS!" Kazuya shrieked.

"Hey that's mine!" Steve complained, still keeping the Panda at bay with the stick

Suddenly Hwoarang and Jin burst through the door

"LOOK SON… I'VE GOT MY SUIT BACK!" Kazuya screamed.

"Yeah whatever old man… where is a giant stick?" Hwoarang said waving away Kazuya who was hugging his suit.

"There…. Oh my good looks, what luck!" Jin said pointing at the giant stick that Steve had

Steve fell to his knees and cried "I made that up…. Why do you steal everything from me?"

Jin hit him in the face and stole it from him. "Now let's get Anna!" he screamed rushing out of the room

"If you'll excuse us…." Hwoarang said stepping from the room

"Are we done looking?" Ling asked

"I HAVE MY SUIT!" Kazuya screeched.

"Okay… I take that as a yes… good night!" she said dropping to the floor snoring.

Panda leapt on Steve and he screamed in fear.

Kazuya took a deep breath and put on his beloved suit…

"Oh it feels good!" he sighed, closing his eyes.

"Well now what?" asked Eddie

"Er….?" Everyone said.

"Let's watch the show down!" Kazuya suggested. They all filed out of the room

Meanwhile in the other room with Hwoarang, Jin and Anna…

Jin had the stick and was poking Anna in the back from the ceiling,

She took one of the cards and ate it.

"NOO!" Jin and Hwoarang screamed

She ate another one

"STOP!" They cried.

She ate all of them.

"OH GOOD DOG!"

Kazuya and the others arrived

"We're here to watch the show down" Kazuya cried

"There won't be any…. We don't have any cards" Jin sobbed, supporting Hwoarang who was crying

Anna cackled from the ceiling. "HA, TAKE THAT… DEFEAT ME!"

Marshall laughed, still dressed as Frank-N-Furter.

"Well…. How do we get home?" Steve asked as Panda sat on his back,

"I have an idea!" Jin said.

Three seconds later they had guns and switch blade knives and ski masks and were all sitting in the cockpit of a high jacked plane

The pilot looked at Kazuya and said "this is your private jet… I don't know why you hi-jacked it"

"DO I PAY YOU TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS?" Kazuya screamed.

"You don't pay me at all" The Pilot replied

"Now you know why" Kazuya said back

"Wow…. Is that Santa?" asked Paul staring out the window at a large sleigh with Reindeer pulling it along.

"Nah… it's just Marshall as Frank-N-Furter pretending to be Santa… I wonder why?" Hwoarang said.

The end


End file.
